October 2011
2 posts
learning to cry.
Recently I have learned to cry,
to let my soul mourn
over the revolting existence
i call myself.
i cant do anything right.
no matter how i try.
sleepless nights,
days of dedication, moments of prayer.
everything in vain. everything in despair.
luck and good fortune avoid me
and cast me astray
and i am left helpless and in anguish
life becomes a constant struggle
like catching...
The more you get to know a person, the more...
March 2011
13 posts
misery.
im sick of not being good enough,
im sick of not understanding
im sick of being the stupider one.
i fucking hate losing.
i hate being wrong
i hate the feeling of shattered confidence
i hate the feeling of helplessness and inferiority
Ignorance.
Act like you dont hear
my every word
act like you dont listen
to my every utterance
act like you dont see my actions
who I am.
act like you’re blind
to my every action
im used to speaking my mind.
and if YOU act like you dont hear me,
then expect to hear my loud.
turn on my megabitch
and my inner savage unravels.
keep on acting like the world is perfect,
that you are...
“I feel my life falling apart, with crumbs left in my longing hands.”
– me.
“’Will you remember this day Gogol?' his father...
pain.
I will never be as good as her. ever.
i wont be as pretty, as intelligent, as exotic. as perfect.
i will never be her. ever.
i literally put my blood,sweat and tears in my work
and what happens?
i fail.
but, of course, she
never. ever fails.
and I don’t succeed. why?
simply because nothing
nothing. in my life goes in my favor. ever.
my secrets.
I’m afraid of what tomorrow holds
I fear being alone.
I fear what could have been.
I used to be really, really, shy.
and I guess I still am sometimes.
I hate hearing his name.
I hate thinking about memories that I once cherished
I love raspberries.
i love drinking hot chai from earthy,rustic looking cups.
I love working in the sunlight
I hate disappointing my parents
I hate being...
reality check.
reality doesn’t have to be perfect.
but then again, is reality different from a dream because nothing ever works out perfectly? Are we all roaming about in a dream that we call reality?
Nothing ever works to my favor. My life, its decisions my reality now.
nothing.nothing whats so ever is real. it cant be
Im not living my life, they are.
my life,my love my career. everything. everything...
“Art is the stored honey of the human soul.”
– Theodore Dreiser